Episode 02 - Self-Discovery: Unraveling the Truth of Who You Are using The Adult Chair® Model
Sep 11, 2023
In this episode I discuss The Adult Chair® Model, a framework integral to my work as a generational healing coach, as well as a guide I use to educate people through this podcast.
The Adult Chair® Model, crafted by Michelle Chalfant, serves as a powerful tool to help individuals process emotions, identify unconscious beliefs, and reconnect with lost parts of themselves. The model is designed to guide individuals through three key phases of life: the inner child phase, the adolescent phase, and the adult phase.
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During the Inner Child phase, which encompasses the ages of zero to six, individuals are in their most authentic and vulnerable state. This is a crucial period where true emotions, needs, and creativity are present. However, if emotional needs are not met during this phase, early wounds can occur, shaping one's view of the world as they grow older. The adult chair model helps individuals reconnect with their inner child, tapping into their creativity, passion, and spontaneity that may have been lost over time.
Moving into the Adolescent Phase, which spans from age seven to 24, individuals begin to develop their own identity and form ego defenses to protect themselves. This phase is where stories and assumptions are created based on limited understanding and experiences. The Adult Chair® Model assists individuals in unraveling these stories, discerning fact from assumption, and rewriting narratives based on present-moment awareness.
Finally, the Adult Phase, beyond age 24, represents one's highest self and the ability to deal with facts and truth over stories and assumptions. In the Adult Chair®, individuals can set boundaries, process emotions, and navigate life from a place of patience and compassion. By working through The Adult Chair® Model, individuals can heal past wounds, address unconscious beliefs, and move forward in life with a clearer understanding of themselves and their experiences.
Reconnecting with the Inner Child is a powerful way to spark creativity, passion, spontaneity, trust, and intimacy in adults. As mentioned in the podcast episode, the inner child represents a time in our lives when we were in our most authentic and purest form, typically between ages zero and six. During this phase, our true feelings, emotions, and needs are fully expressed and online. By reconnecting with this inner child, adults can tap into a wellspring of creativity and passion that may have been buried under the layers of responsibilities and routines that come with adulthood.
For example,I share a personal story about how reconnecting with my Inner Child through activities like coloring sparked memories of my childhood creativity and joy. By engaging in activities that bring back memories of what brought joy and fulfillment as a child, adults can reignite their creative spark and passion for life. This reconnection allows individuals to access a sense of spontaneity and playfulness that is often lost in the busyness of adult life.
Moreover, the Inner Child phase is also a time of deep vulnerability and dependence, which fosters deep connected relationships. By reconnecting with this vulnerable and authentic part of ourselves, adults can cultivate trust and intimacy in their relationships. Understanding and addressing the unmet emotional needs from the Inner Child phase can lead to healing and growth in adulthood, allowing individuals to form healthier and more fulfilling connections with others.
In essence, by revisiting and nurturing the Inner Child within us, we can unlock a treasure trove of creativity, passion, spontaneity, trust, and intimacy that can enrich our lives and relationships in profound ways.
The Adult Chair® symbolizes an individual's highest self. It is a state where one lives in the present moment, dealing with facts and truth while setting boundaries from a place of patience and compassion. When seated in the adult chair, a person is deeply connected with their inner child's needs, emotions, and feelings, while also observing the behaviors that were developed during the adolescent phase of life.
Living in the present moment is a key aspect of being in the Adult Chair®. It allows individuals to focus on what is happening right now, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. By being present, one can observe situations objectively and respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively based on past experiences or future fears.
Dealing with facts and truth is another important characteristic of the Adult Chair®. It involves discerning between stories and assumptions that may have been created during the adolescent phase and the actual reality of a situation. By distinguishing between what is based on fact and what is a narrative constructed from past experiences, individuals can make more informed decisions and navigate their lives with greater clarity.
Setting boundaries from a place of patience and compassion is a skill that is honed when sitting in the Adult Chair®. It involves establishing healthy limits in relationships and situations, not out of fear or defensiveness, but from a place of self-respect and understanding. By approaching boundary-setting with patience and compassion, individuals can communicate their needs effectively while also considering the feelings and perspectives of others.
Overall, the Adult Chair® represents a state of emotional maturity and self-awareness. It is a place where individuals can authentically connect with themselves, navigate their past experiences, and make conscious choices that align with their values and goals. By embodying the qualities of living in the present moment, dealing with facts and truth, and setting boundaries with patience and compassion, individuals can cultivate a sense of inner peace and empowerment in their lives.
In this episode:
[00:02:37] The Adult Chair® Model Introduction.
[00:04:22] Connecting to our feelings
[00:10:02] The inner child.
[00:15:03] Struggling with creativity in career.
[00:18:02] Rediscovering creativity through coloring.
[00:24:15] Developing masks to hide selves.
[00:28:06] Childhood perception influencing beliefs.
[00:31:19] Updating our life stories.
[00:36:19] Observing emotions as an adult.
[00:38:16] Exploring The Adult Chair® Model.
[00:42:48] Generational issues and healing.
Quotes:
“This is the time of your life when you have your true feelings, your true emotions, and your true needs are online."- LaShonda Walker
“I found myself in a place where I absolutely hated what I was doing." - LaShonda Walker
"If you feel like you are disconnected from your inner child or you feel like you've lost your spontaneity, you feel like you've lost your creativity, you don't have any passion in your life, you're just like, life is what it is." - LaShonda Walker
"And the reason why we develop these masks, we develop these characters, it's a way to hide our authentic selves." - LaShonda Walker
"But you need an adult to come into the room to moderate all that adolescent energy, to navigate all that adolescent energy." - LaShonda Walker
"Sometimes we have to tap back to the past just for a minute or two or a few seconds just to figure out where the root is. But our goal is always to come forward." - LaShonda Walker
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