Episode 06 - Effective Parenting, Conflict Resolution, and Connection with Teen Whisperer Florence Gichuhi
Oct 9, 2023
In this educational episode, I’m delighted to have Florence Gichuhi, a Certified Jai Institute for Parenting Transformational Parent and Teen Coach, and the founder of Unlocked Greatness, a coaching service dedicated to connecting parents and teenagers.
Florence is affectionately known as the 'teen whisperer,' due to her extensive experience in bridging the gap between parents and teenagers to help them build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
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Navigating the choppy waters of parenting teenagers can sometimes feel like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. Just when you think you've got a handle on things, a new twist or turn appears out of nowhere. But fear not, fellow parents! In this episode of our podcast, we're diving headfirst into some tried-and-true strategies that can help smooth out the bumps and create a stronger, more connected relationship with your teen.
One of the cornerstone principles Florence highlights is the importance of modeling emotional regulation and active listening. Let's face it, as parents, we're not immune to the occasional emotional meltdown. But before we expect our teens to navigate their own emotional storms, Florence reminds us to take a step back and regulate our own emotions first. By identifying where we feel emotions in our bodies and practicing active listening, we can create a safe space for our teens to express themselves and feel truly heard.
But it doesn't stop there. Florence also emphasizes the power of effective communication in setting boundaries with teenagers. Gone are the days of barking orders and expecting compliance. Instead, Florence encourages us to engage in open and respectful dialogue, making requests rather than demands. By involving our teens in the decision-making process and respecting their individual values, we not only establish clear boundaries but also foster independence and personal growth.
And let's not forget about the importance of setting the stage for the week ahead. Florence suggests using Sunday afternoons as an opportunity to map out expectations and responsibilities for the family. By approaching these discussions with curiosity and openness, we can create a collaborative environment where everyone feels empowered to contribute and take ownership of their actions.
So, whether you're knee-deep in the trenches of adolescence or just bracing yourself for the storm ahead, remember that effective communication, setting values, and making requests instead of demands can help steer your ship through even the roughest seas. Together, let's build stronger, more harmonious relationships with our teens based on mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation. After all, isn't that what parenting is all about?
In this episode, we discuss:
[00:02:10] Understanding Parenting 21st Century Teens.
[00:05:15] Understanding parent-teen relationships.
[00:08:57] Parental pressure on children.
[00:12:26] Different interpretations of communication.
[00:18:06] Active listening and reflective listening.
[00:22:03] Emotional regulation and body signals.
[00:27:34] Rupture and repair.
[00:30:10] Modeling values for children.
[00:34:40] Parenting and emotional wellness.
[00:40:26] Strength-based parenting.
[00:44:17] Parenting in the digital age.
[00:46:15] Setting boundaries for teenagers.
[00:52:22] Tools for effective communication.
[00:54:07] Teen brain development.
[00:57:27] Fear-based parenting.
Quotes:
"Your child was born whole and does not need fixing." - Florence Gichuhi
"But one of the things that I realized was that. it wasn't so much about the parenting, them needing help in the parenting, the children, it was in the parents needing to understand themselves more." - LaShonda Walker
"A lot of parents base their, I almost wanna say worthiness or their success on a parent on what their child is doing." - LaShonda Walker
"What you hear your parent always saying, it's going to become your inner voice." - Florence Gichuhi
"Reflective listening. Tell me what you had me say." - LaShonda Walker
"One thing that parents do is that assume that the teenagers have the capacity to make decisions. That can be hard for them because truth be told, their prefrontal cortex have not developed at all. That happens later in life." - Florence Gichuhi
“I don't know that anybody can test your emotions quite like your child.” - LaShonda Walker
"There are so many adults really adolescents running around in adult bodies." - LaShonda Walker
"See your child for the strengths they have and not the weakness, because what you focus on magnifies, right?" - Florence Gichuhi
"Communication is the pathway to setting boundaries."- Florence Gichuhi
"Connection before correction." - Florence Gichuhi
"I am a good parent. I am enough. I am doing the best that I can. I am learning to do better." - Florence Gichuhi
"When you yell at your child, or you get angry at your child, it's actually coming from a place of compassion, because what you're actually trying to do is pass along the same alarm system that served you as a child." - LaShonda Walker
Guest Information: