Episode 19 - Understanding the Ego: The Impact of Your Past on Your Present
March 18, 2024
In this episode, I shed light on how our adolescent ego continues to impact our adult behaviors and decisions. Drawing insights from The Adult Chair® Model, we'll explore how the adolescent ego, taking shape between the ages of seven to 24, exerts a profound influence on the trajectory of our lives.
During adolescence, individuals undergo a tumultuous period of identity formation and self-discovery. To navigate this season of life, we develop various personas or characters, such as the avoidant, people pleaser, fixer, perfectionist, and controller, as coping mechanisms to ensure acceptance and safety in different social contexts.
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This episode underscores how these characters, forged during the adolescent phase of life, continue to wield influence over our adult lives. They manifest as resistance to self-care, difficulty in prioritizing our needs, and a constant striving for validation and approval. This resistance is rooted in the adolescent ego's innate drive for perfection, problem-solving, and acceptance.
To facilitate healing and personal growth, I introduce a simple yet transformative way to begin transforming resistance to self-care through the 30-day Self Check-In challenge. By dedicating just 60 seconds multiple times a day to self-reflection, individuals can begin unraveling the grip of their adolescent ego and reclaiming agency over their lives. Through this process, they can cultivate self-awareness, self-compassion, and the ability to make conscious decisions aligned with their present needs and values.
Listen to Discover:
1. Understanding the adolescent ego: Delving into the developmental phase where the ego takes shape and the pivotal role it plays in shaping behaviors and decisions.
2. Uncovering adolescent personas: Exploring the masks or characters we create during adolescence to navigate social dynamics and secure acceptance.
3. Impact on adult life: Recognizing how these personas continue to influence our adult behaviors, often leading to patterns of overworking, people-pleasing, and control.
4. The 30-day Self Check-In Challenge: Introducing a practical tool for confronting the influence of the adolescent ego through regular self-reflection and introspection.
5. Creating positive change: Empowering individuals to challenge ingrained patterns, cultivate self-awareness, and embark on a journey of healing and self-discovery.
By engaging with the Self Check-In Challenge, listeners are invited to embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery and healing. Through conscious exploration and reflection, they can begin to unravel the layers of their adolescent ego, embrace their authentic selves, and chart a path towards greater fulfillment and well-being.
In this episode, we cover:
[00:01:56] The Adolescent Chair and ego.
[00:07:05] Characters adolescents create.
[00:10:39] Different adolescent character types.
[00:13:09] Adolescent decision-making and emotions.
[00:17:14] Adolescent characters resurfacing as adults.
[00:21:30] Exploring your past for present transformation.
Recommended Episode: Self-Discovery through the Adult Chair® Model
Episode Quotes:
"Your ego won't let you take a break." - LaShonda Walker
"Our ego is that part of us that is trying so hard to protect us, to keep us safe and ensure that we are accepted." - LaShonda Walker
"But you are a fully grown adult who says, no, I can take 60 seconds to check in with myself." - LaShonda Walker
"Many of us are on this journey of self-discovery. Many of us are trying to uncover these things that have felt like they've been hiding in the shadows." - LaShonda Walker